1. A train.
2. An inappropriately-shirtless guy, dancing inappropriately.
3. A slutty chick's right boob on the jumbo screen.
4. A slutty chick's left boob on the jumbo screen.
6. My mom, who is still much, MUCH cooler than me. (She actually had to tell me to stand up when the band came out, because I am lame and tend to sit down during entire rock concerts.)
7. Enough flashing devil-horn head bands to set off a seizure in every epileptic on the planet.
8. A 35-dollar hat, which I proceeded to buy because apparently I just poop out money now.
9. A giant, inflated, heavily-boobed plastic woman named Rosie.
11. My life flashing before my eyes as we tried to leave through a crowd of drunken fools stumbling like extras in a George Romero zombie movie who'd been dosed with qualuudes.