Witty opening line, just off-kilter enough to grab your attention.
Slightly more detailed explanation, followed by disclaimer about how, regardless of what I type afterward, I'm not judging anyone who believes differently than I do (even though, let's face it, I am.)
Silly anecdote about what prompted me to write this post, likely referencing a friend/co-worker/smelly fellow bus passenger.
Paragraph containing comments and observations written with humour and light-hearted teasing, used to disguise (thinly) my distaste and reproach for subject matter.
Ha ha ha I'm so funny aren't I witty? don't you just hate it when blah blah blah blah blah.
Slightly more sensitive comment about the serious problems faced by poor people/cute little animals/something else that's lame.
The word 'fuck' a bunch of times, interspersed with words that aren't 'fuck' so I don't sound like a complete jackoff.
Summary of my point/argument/spazz-fest, which is hilarious but also almost reveals that I'm actually upset/sad/care about something.
Just kidding. Everyone can blow me.