"My current employer? The drivers of cars waiting at the red light at the St. Laurent off ramp." ~ Guy who stared in my car window for a full minute while holding a cardboard sign requesting money.
"Fuck it -- I'll just kill people with my car." ~ Everyone driving through the St. Laurent Centre parking lot Saturday.
"Fuck it -- I'll just get killed by a car." ~ Everyone walking through the St. Laurent Centre parking lot Saturday.
"This is probably where used Kleenexes go." ~ Some guy at the convenience store where I stopped to buy milk today, as he tucked a snot-rag among the chocolate bar display.
"It is a scientific fact that bathroom stalls block out the sounds that farts make." ~ Woman in the same bathroom as me.
"I'm not creepy." ~ Guy at La Senza. Looking at bras. Alone.
"I'm not a douchebag." ~ Douchebag walking down the street yapping loudly and with great self-importance into his Bluetooth.
"I'm super-coordinated and don't look ridiculous." ~ Chick balancing tray holding five cups from Starbucks while talking on her cell phone.
"SHOWERS ARE HOW THE DEVIL GETS INSIDE YOU AND ALSO I HAVE A RAT LIVING IN MY BRAIN CAN I BORROW A FORK TO GET IT OUT???" ~ Crazy guy