Avril Lavigne is a Jackass.

Song #2 in my list of Shit Music that Rapes My Ears


I enjoy listening to Avril Lavigne about as much as I would enjoy listening to the sounds my dog would make if she were being skinned alive. That said, I do not know and do not care if she’s ever actually written any word of any sentence of any song she’s every ‘performed.’ But the shit comes out of her mouth, so she’s the one I’m taking it out on. I’ve also only added selected excerpts (they are listed in order as they appear in the song) because it’s a very long piece of shit, and I don’t want to over power my computer with it’s stench.



"Complicated"

Uh huh, life's like this
Uh huh, uh huh, that's the way it is
Cause life's like this
Uh huh, uh huh that's the way it is

***That’s deep. Thanks, retard.


Chill out whatcha yelling' for?

***Cuz I hate you.


You come over unannounceddressed up like you're somethin' else

***”Dressed up like you’re somethin’ else,” Avril? Like perhaps a cool punk-rock-but-not-too-offensively-punk-rock chick, instead of a skank-whore from Napanee?


Trying to be cool you look like a fool to me

***I really like those commercials you’re in for digital cameras these days. They in no way make you look like a moron.


Chill out whatcha yelling for?

***Again, because I hate you. Already told you that.


Lay back, it's all been done before

***Too easy.

"Cecilia" is a Stupid Song

The first in my ongoing series of Songs That Are Stupid and Why.


I hate this song. Not only does it get stuck in my frigging head for a week any time I hear even one NANO SECOND of it, but it might be one of the most glaring examples of pathetic loserness that has ever been written.




Cecilia, you're breaking my heart
You're shaking my confidence daily
Oh, Cecilia, I'm down on my knees
I'm begging you please to come home

Cecilia, you're breaking my heart
You're shaking my confidence daily
Oh, Cecilia, I'm down on my knees
I'm begging you please to come home
Come on home

***Up to this point, there's nothing really odd about this song, except how fucking annoying it is. Shit starts to go wrong right.....about....now.


Making love in the afternoon with CeciliaUp in my bedroom (making love)

***Nothing wrong there.

I got up to wash my face

***What exactly is this guy doing during sex that requires him to wash his damn face? If you're face gets dirty, you're doing it WRONG.

When I come back to bed
Someone's taken my place

***Cecilia's a whore, dude. Also, unless you take a very, very long time to wash your face, this other guy was in your room the whole time, and he was probably naked. Watching you boink.

Cecilia, you're breaking my heart
You're shaking my confidence daily
Oh, Cecilia, I'm down on my knees
I'm begging you please to come home
Come on home

***Now this particular clump of dialogue, which was not-weird at the beginning, becomes much more weirderer. You are begging this bitch to come back? Dude -- WHORE.

Jubilation, she loves me again,
I fall on the floor and I am laughing,
Jubilation, she loves me again,
I fall on the floor and I am happy.

***Jubilation because a whore has taken YOU back after SHE banged some guy mere seconds after you left the room to wash your face in the middle of sex? You're an asshole. Also, you probably didn't fall on the floor because of laughter. Cecilia probably gave you syphilis, and you've fainted. Go to a doctor.