My Friend Got a Parking Ticket For No Good Fucking Reason

Job Application - Parking Meter Fuckhead


Thank you for taking the time to fill out this application to become a Parking Meter Fuckhead. We will go over your application and get back to you within 3 business days.

1. Please select the phrase that best describes you:

a) Decent Human Being
b) Incomparable Asshole
c) Shit-for-Brains
d) Giant Douche

2. How would you deal with a confrontation between yourself, and someone who is obviously right?

a) Accept that the other person is right and apologize
b) Throw a fit like a whiny little bitch
c) Tell the obviously in-the-right party that you've "already started the ticket"

3. You believe people should get parking tickets when:

a) They are parked in a no-parking zone, or the meter has run out
b) You feel like it, whether they are illegally parked or not, because you are an asshole

4. Your career goals to this point have been:

a) To do well at a job that you enjoy
b) To be a police officer, but you failed the test because you're a fucking idiot
c) To be a mall security guard because you failed the police test because you're a fucking idiot, but you failed the mall security guard test too, because you're a fucking idiot, and now you're just trying to get ahold of any power you can, regardless of how insignificant you are.


If you answered "a" to any of the above questions, please do not bother handing in this application. You are obviously a decent, mentally-functioning human being, and this job is not right for you.